How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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