I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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