Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
