I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
