So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
