there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
