he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
as a side note pls kill me
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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