Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It's just like the Real World with babies
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
