And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
