Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
They took my balls.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
