Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
