is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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