Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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