i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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