So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
