I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
