cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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