Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize