the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
