i permit you to call me
Yo dont text me then not text me
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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