wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
