You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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