it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think im going to throw up on grandma
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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