I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
