I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
