You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
