peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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