ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
