so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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