Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
