i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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