Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
