I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
