bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize