it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
