D3 body, D1 cock
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i came on her dog
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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