Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
