you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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