Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
