i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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