kristin has been a bad kristin
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
