Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
