omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
