He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
