and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
