this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Found the puke drawer
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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