I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you told grandpa to call you daddy
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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