So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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