I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
kristin has been a bad kristin
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
