I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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