I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
