Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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