i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
