YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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