Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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