I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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