I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
