you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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