That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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