ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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