seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize