Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
