I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
