I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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