thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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