Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
