I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
